Women Trouble

In my 20s, I remember seeing the first issue of Ms. magazine and being jolted and comforted into a realization that I wasn’t the only one who felt left out of the male world and put down by men. I attended consciousness-raising groups—joining other young women sitting in a circle on someone’s living room floor and talking about our lives—surprised to learn that the discrimination I felt on an individual level was something experienced by other women. We felt a collective power, one that translated into a women’s movement where we demanded equal pay, help with childcare and more female lawmakers. We sought less harassment from men and more severe sentences for men who raped. Among other women, we realized that the harassment wasn’t trivial and that rape was life-destroying.

But now when I see what is happening 50 years later, I feel a sense of confusion and anger. The secretary of war is deliberately getting rid of female military leaders (as well as blacks). Our president is replacing female cabinet members with men and openly making fun of female reporters. Women in the public eye (actors, politicians, etc.) are victims of male hostility, men who feel free to comment on their looks, their intelligence, their bodies.  

From what I’ve read, more religious and conservative men (including, apparently, our vice president) believe women are mostly good for having babies. Toughness and manliness are prized while empathy and caring are seen as weak.  The most extreme members of that group believe that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Worst, the misogyny expressed by some men verges into violence, especially sexual.

Young women appear to be responding to this sexism by dressing in tight outfits, low-cut tops, short skirts and very high heels. It’s as if they want to placate males but also not stand out and get criticized by other females for not being attractive enough. Girls with smooth skin worry about wrinkles and sign up for plastic surgery. Part of this beauty fixation can be blamed on the predominance of social media, where young females can easily compare themselves to others and feel inferior. It feels like the same self-hatred we fought against in the 1970s.

I don’t understand how female voters support candidates who have been accused of sexual harassment, even of rape. If male candidates had been accused of this when I was young, I like to believe they would have been hounded out of running for office. Yet today I hear few complaints from women.

As an older woman who once exulted in the women’s liberation movement, I find it hard to watch what’s happening now. It feels like we’re going backwards. How did we get to this disparagement of women? How do we get out of this?  

On the death of Gloria Steinem, one female columnist noted that this pioneer of feminism was fortunate to die before she witnessed any more deterioration of women’s rights. Rest in peace, Ms. Steinem.